What is happiness?

“Happiness” There are so many layers and complexities to this word. Is it an emotion, a thing, an adjective. A state of mind. How does one achieve it? Can it be bought, is it earned, is it given? Can it be lost can it be found. Can it be real or fake. Is it the same for every individual? Is there really a concrete answer?

Life has become so surface level that how can anyone really begin to know. We spend countless hours on social media (me included) watching peoples lives so much that the state of what I call the "grass is greener on the other side mentality" intensifies. Texting, responding to DM's or clicking that reply button has become the way to communicate. We are moving at a pace that doesn't allow us to be completely present, intentional and grateful. We focus on the things we want as opposed to appreciating that all we need is right in front of us. We put energy into relationships that do nothing but drain us of energy but manage to convince ourselves that we are the problem.

We are existing in a world where the human connection is defective. We have become desensitized to energy. We ask each other "how are you?" but are we really listening to the response or has it just become "common courtesy" to ask.

In light of the death of Stephen "tWitch" Boss I find myself pondering how someone who appeared to be so happy, accomplished, driven and successful with a wife 3 kids a beautiful home a career to be envied would be so broken that he felt ending his life was his only choice.

We emulate the lives of celebrities or whomever we think is living a life better than ours but don't realize that their "happiness" or "success" doesn't safeguard them from pain. In fact I believe that it is this very state of "happiness" they portray that motivates them to continue with the façade so as to not be judged for being "ungrateful" or "weak". As a result they end up judging themselves for the very same thing. These are often the people that give so much of themselves to others. They spread happiness, kindness joy and so much laughter that those around them will be none the wiser and they continue to live quietly in their pain. Appearing to have it all figured out.

Let me remind you that I have no background on mental health and this is solely my own thoughts and views. The only experience I have is that I am one of those people that use happiness and comedy to cope with grief and pain. I'm only learning now that it's ok to be sad, it's ok to ask for help or to tell people that you are not ok. This is also a reminder to myself to be more intensional, engaged and present with other people. Every person has a story that we know nothing about. We know nothing of the pain they feel. So whenever you have those moments when you have a random thought of someone or wake up to a dream of someone trust you intuition and reach out. If someone is acting out of character or is "moody" or "cranky " it may not just be a warning to stay away. It may very well be the exact opposite. The moments when people distance themselves or say I want to be alone is probably when they need the company the most. So offer some reassurance that you see them. Provide them a safe space where they can be in a "shitty" mood but still feel loved and accepted. When or if they decide to confide in you be completely and utterly present. Open yourself up to receive their emotions their pain their energy. Be intentional and authentic in your responses. Sometimes sitting in silence with someone in pain is the most loving and purest of gestures, it speaks louder than having "the right thing to say". When you're shopping around for Christmas presents keep in mind that to many this is one of the loneliest times of the year. A smile or a simple hello can go a long way. We all just want to feel that we can be seen. That we are worthy to hold space in this universe.

We spend so much money and time on our education, our nutrition, exercise, physical appearance etc but how much effort do we put on our self-awareness, our mental health or our emotional intelligence.

Just imagine the vibrational frequencies we could reach if we put as much effort in truly defining and understanding our emotions the way we feed our intellect. Having the ability to truly tune into a person feelings is such a profound and unique quality that no amount of degrees, masters or PHDs can achieve.

I vow to navigate through this journey of self love with all this in mind.

I SEE YOU!!

~Ria 2.0

. “Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” —Edwin Hubbell Chapin

(RIP Stephen "tWitch" Boss)